Control....

This is a story about control, my control
Control of what I say, control of what I do
And this time I'm gonna do it my way
I hope you enjoy this as much as I do

I'm in control, I'm in control
Don't make me lose it

"Oh no, she di'n't", I hear you saying. But yes, I most surely did - I really am quoting lyrics from a Janet Jackson song on an LFC blog...

Control - possession of which is a stimulant like no other, the lack of (and desire for) which can drive one to madness. To wit - this quote from our manager after yesterday's draw against Wigan:

"The second half was crazy and when it is crazy you cannot control things."

People have been questioning Benitez's sanity - who and what is he raving at now? What on earth was he doing regarding those substitutions? And what was Lucas doing out there at all? Doesn't Benitez care - doesn't he know we're finally SOOOOOOOO close after sooooo many years ... DAMN HIM!!

It's been quite the recurring theme over the last few weeks, don't you think? And the multiple facets of it encapsulated in my previous not-so-subtly-pisstaking paragraph. Starting with Rafa's "rant" at the red-faced sot down the East Lancs (over Fergie's seemingly unquestioned control over refs and the FA), rejection of his new contract a week later (over lack of control in the transfer market), fans pulling their hair out ready to sack the man (over lack of control over results/subs because of course we all know better than he does), fans ready to stick Lucas up on a pitchfork (more of same but also because the soft lad couldn't control himself after harrying back 60+ yards and made the unmistakeable sin of conceding a penalty - how dare he? Liverpool's never ever ever conceded a penalty - ever)....

Oh and there was also that little matter of Steven's bit of hot water - which kicked this all off in a way as Benitez was trying divert attention away from the player's troubles - for allegedly being near/involved in a ruckus because the group wanted control over the venue's music collection.

I've been sitting on this a few days - I too would like more control; over my time to write these posts, over my job future, over Liverpool winning the league. But unfortunately, some of those things are out of my hands. And when things get away from you - or you have no say in them at all, particularly when you feel like you should - it's impossible not to feel frustrated and want to have a pop at someone. (Anyone spending more than five minutes on the streets of New York or in the subway must know what that feels like.)

We cannot control everything though it never stops us from wanting to. Do people *really* think no time was devoted in training to dealing with Everton's set pieces (and / or Cahill in particular)? Surely no one missed how thrilled Benitez looked after Lescott scored last Sunday...especially with Xabi standing right beside little Timmy waving hi. Of course the manager is responsible for getting his message through to the lads but he has no control over whether those teachings are excuted properly in every instance and that's just got to kill him. Same as it killed the team when Lucas conceded the penalty for a stupid challenge, same as it killed Lucas when Skrtel lost the ball in the midfield and he busted a gut to cover as there wasn't a teammate around.

We supporters then drive ourselves and everyone else crazy because we of course are completely powerless to do anything about any of this. We yell, we swear, some kick the cat/dog/car/etc. because of our frustration when things don't go the way we think they should (however that's determined). Some take it to extremes and think every game should be like Pro Evo Soccer - we always win and no mistakes are ever made (at least not in any way that's actually punished - how nice is that?).

Where am I going with all this? Well there's no tidy summary this time really. Just that while there's nothing wrong in and of itself with wanting control; there is in fact a need for it as we'd otherwise have complete anarchy. It breeds confidence, it makes for success. However, if we don't recognize that it's not possible in every situation to obtain or maintain - that we cannot control each and every facet of evey single thing as much as we'd like to try - one is doomed to fail. The ones who succeed are the ones who just pick themselves up and keep plugging along, hopefully minimizing the pain/damage caused the next time things don't go to plan. You continue looking to improve; you continue to support - you certainly don't throw in the towel or give up because you can't have it your way.

Because it will most certainly always - at some point - not go to plan once again.

Just have a drink (or joint, if you prefer!), chill for a minute and repeat those wise words:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference

And let's just beat the Laaandaaan Bluesh*te on Sunday.

¡Cojones de acera!

In case I wasn't already in love with our manager, I will drop my normally calm, cool exterior to pronounce that Rafael Benitez has officially pushed me to the point of Beatlesque frenzy...

It's been a very long time that I've felt so giddy over something that had nothing to do with a Liverpool result or some bit of music in my earcans.

"Rant"? Please. "Tirade"? Gimme a break. All our gaffer has done is publicly state the exact sentiments supporters, players, other managers and even referees have said in private. Are there still people out there who doubt how much this man is the embodiment of one Bill Shankly writ large for the 21st century? I know there are. And you know what?

Fuck 'em.



While I've read people worrying about playing Everton twice within the span of a week, wringing their hands over Steven's legal troubles (important as he no doubt is, I thought we resented that "one/two-man team" tag?), and always wondering when the shoe is going to drop, thank god we've got someone in charge who is seemingly made of sterner stuff than most of the rest of us.

We've asked him to show some guts and now that he has, some people are complaining?? All of a sudden we're too cocky, too cavalier, not thinking about the consequences...what the heck has happened?

All I know is that Rafa went into the hospital to have kidney stones removed - and he came out with a bigger set of stones on display. And by god I wish some supporters would get a pair themselves.

* * * * *

Two points dropped, one point gained...hard to say as we were poor today against Stoke. Can't excuse it and the timing couldn't have been worse with some tough games against Everton and Chelsea to come, as well as once again we fail to take maximum points on a weekend our rivals face off against each other - I have honestly lost track of when we've made it count. Keane not coming off the bench when we still had a sub available is a headscratcher no doubt. One could say we weren't creating enough (and looking suspect defensively) so why bother but that route one pass that Torres deftly flicked on for Gerrard might have been enough indication that Robbie deserved a go, out of sorts or not. I mean if Babel could get a run...

Ah well, time to regroup and get ready for a killer couple of weeks. Would I prefer an easier, less stressful path to the title - who wouldn't? But it is about the ride as much as the finish. Shake it off and let's get back on track.

And though it really shouldn't need saying (but some seem to continually forget): let's support our boys and our manager. Between Rafa's comments yesterday, the performance today and (heaven forbid) a win by either spawny side tomorrow, you just know the knives are sharpened and ready to go for our jugular. Time to stand tall and stand firm - long way to go yet.

A real Christmas cracker...

With hopefully some champagne to follow come May? Ooooh, let's hope so...!

Two of our best performances of the season to cap off the end of what's been a faith-renewing year for Liverpool Football Club. Who'd have thought it considering where things stood twelve months ago?

If you cast your minds back, it was on December 30th a year ago that we drew 0-0 with Manchester City; a game we should've won but could not find the back of the net to save our lives. That result - followed hotly by that gobsmacking Titus Bramble equalizer in the 1-1 draw against Wigan on January 3rd - were when even the most optimistic of Reds realized their rose-tinted specs were decidely of the "beer goggle" variety. We flattered to deceive (mainly ourselves), and any boozy dreams of winning the title in 2008 felt downright silly only 3 days' in. There was disappointment of course but also a bit of embarassment; who the hell were we kidding anyway? It was over, wasn't it? I mean it disn't take much to convince one that if we couldn't beat the likes of Wigan with both Torres and Gerrard in the side, we'd never win anything with players like Benayoun and Lucas?

There was also the ongoing farce between our owners and Benitez. The Dubai lot stringing us along like a lovesick teenager. The evaporation of any hopes for a new stadium anytime within the next 5 years. Transfer sagas that made us look complete naifs.

But it's turned around now and thank god for that. We can all only guess at what had made it do so - I threw some ideas out there already in my November 21 post. But the most important part is that the boardroom tempests are no longer overshadowing what's happening on the pitch and the people that matter - players, manager/staff and the supporters - are all pretty much on the same page and moving forward together. I won't say everything's perfect (not at all) and how different the story would be if some of those nailbiting wins early this season had been draws or losses. But if we can't take heart from the steady progression we've made (much less believe both #19 and I'll say it, #6, are distinct possibilities) then ffs, please go find a club where wallowing in misery is the norm - there are plenty around at the moment.

Yes, there were some moments in 2008 that should be confined to the scrapheap of history but boy, there were also some absolute beauts:

• Babel's scuffer against the Mancs after that great buildup from Masch & Kuyt!


• Fernando's double against the Bitters!


• Mascher's belter against Reading (and brilliant "f*** you" celebration after)!


• The humilation of Wenger's kids at Anfield!


• The so perfectly appropriate deflected winner from Xabi against the Chavs!


• The euphoria of one seemingly impossible comeback win after another! (and making it look easy)


• Topping the Champions League group in style!

Oh, and did I forget to mention again that we're on top of the league by 3 points?!

Baby!!

We're getting there, folks - we are getting there. It's as the great Lester Freamon once said (as any fellow The Wire devotee will know):

"We're building us a case, piece by piece... and all the pieces matter."

So savor those shiny pieces from the year that was ... and roll on the ones to come in 2009. If things continue along the lines of 2008, we are in definitely in for a good 'un.

A very happy and healthy new year to one and all!

Back in NY...

Would love to say it's great to be back but that's only sort of half true, especially as it was absolutely freezing upon my return. I was on holiday for eight lovely days in my adopted home of Curacao. It's a wonderful place - the mosquitos certainly think so too this time of year - and even the U.S. and Russian militaries have taken a shine to it in recent months as a loud-talking fellow named Hugo lives a mere 20 miles south over the water. But I really love the island, and if nothing else it will always get props from me for making that bright blue stuff our own Russian Paul drinks post-match at the bar. (Anything that turns an alcoholic beverage into something you feel insecure drinking without a radioactive suit on is alright in my book.)

The only negative is that we've got no cable/satellite/internet service where we stay down there - who needs it when looking at an expanse of sea? - but that leaves me pretty much Liverpool-deprived for the duration. I was thankfully able to keep up to speed with the West Ham match thanks to the kind texting service of an 11th St. Kopite (who probably needn't have bothered considering?!) and by swiping a friend's Blackberry when I could to check the OS and the LFCNY forums. Whew - talk about roughing it!! But even down there, someone must've recognized my plight as I espied a young migrant worker on the flatbed of a truck wearing a 2002 away replica top - can't tell you how much that brought a smile to my face. Come to think of it, I've only seen about 4 locals wearing replica tops over the years (baseball's the bigger sport down there, Dutch island or no): one Barca, one Holland (with van Horsehead on the back but I'll forgive - at least it wasn't a Manc or Madrid shirt) and two - count 'em two - Liverpool shirts. Great island or what? :-)

Anyway, dire game or not to start December (and a not so much better one 5 days later), I return to Brooklyn with us sitting atop the league table! Though by god you'd never know it from the moaning in some quarters. Could we play "prettier" football - sure. Should some players step up more - no question (though I think they're starting to get the idea going by late at Ewood Park and in Eindhoven). But I'm not quite sure what people expect. How many seasons have gone by that we've complained - with begrudging admiration, mind - about other teams grafting (or, if you want to be less kind, spawning) their way to the title? I can certainly think of about a dozen jammy Lampard deflections and last-minute ridiculous winners that nonetheless helped the Chavs and Mancs to their respective titles in recent seasons. I'll guarantee you that as "luverly" as Arsenal were in their "invincible" season, there were some less than fabulous performances along the way even though few of us could name them off the top of our heads. But with twelve draws - only one less than we had last season btw - how could there not have been?

So why are Liverpool the only club seemingly exempt - even by some of our own supporters - from doing it the less than 100% aesthetically pleasing way?

Perhaps we expect - no, demand - the best every time out as the "knowledgeable fans" that we purport to be. There's not really anything wrong with that ... well, except for the fact that there are always dips and sways along the way to a title and always will be. That's the way it works. The trick is sometimes as much about minimizing the damage when not at your best as pummelling your opponents when you are. No surprise that the evergreen Sami Hyypia and Jamie Carragher have been our best players in recent games while others have been getting slaughtered. I only pray that when Jamie's hung up his boots and is pointing out the various honours he's won to Mia and James that there's a Premiership winners' medal up there on the shelf next to the rest (alongside knees and hip bones preserved in fomaldehyde, no doubt).

Seems hard to fathom that the dips and sways are forgotten about or seem a complete surprise; especially since we've been mainly a team of sways and dips in the league for too much of our recent history. So, long and now short - we're almost at the halfway point of the season, folks, and we've not seen the best of most of our players yet. A reason to be cheerful if ever I've heard one. Let's just take a deep breath, sit back and try to enjoy the thrills and spills to come.

Just one last word about that West Ham game. While certainly not one for the record book, the efforts of the club and the Spirit of Shankly group before the match on behalf of the Michael Shields' appeal must be acknowledged. Tremendous work all around - here's hoping he will be released soon. This, along with the JFT96 protest last year, really keep things in perspective. And frankly, it's incredibly reassuring to see that this high a level of integrity and principle remain to make such a public statement as many other things around the club have been compromised. To be perfectly honest, I can't think of another club that would take such a stand. (And will just add that Sue Johnston once again shows why she is a legend! Well in, Barb.)

Should be a cracking game - and Xmas party - at the weekend. Will check back in a few if not sooner.

I'm still getting the hang of this blogging thing. So far, I either end up with 10 ideas for what to write about or none - and the 10 can end up producing zilch as well as I can't decide which to use. So if you see big gaps in dates on here, this will be why - just letting you in on the process as it's bound to happen again and again!

Anyway, another international week gone by - thankfully once in which Torres didn't get crocked for a change - and another two home games to look forward to. We continue rolling along and I've no reason to think that Fulham tomorrow won't be a good three points earned - no disrespect meant as they're doing alright so far this season. But even minus Stevie G., we are more than a match for them. I think you can pretty much pick the starting 11 yourself if you're playing along at home.

Which brings me inadvertently to ... not all that long ago, with a midweek Champions League match, we knew we'd see wholescale changes in the league match immediately before. How times have changed. The league is undoubtedly the priority this year - I've always questioned when it wasn't. In my mind, the difference this year that makes it a realistic goal vs a pipedream is the confluence of a few events:

• Established starters with another year's worth of invaluable physical and mental experience behind them - they know what's expected in both mind and body, and are better able to deal with those demands


• Half of the squad returning to Merseyside full of confidence after picking up baubles of some color/size this summer


• Two great signings in Keane and Riera, both players with prior Premiership experience who were able to hit the ground running; and


• The backroom staff additions of Sammy Lee and Mauricio Pellegrino amongst others - the sense of a true "red machine" incorporating all parts of the playing and training personnel is palpable.

The foundations are in place and the parts required to execute the plan are stronger than ever, so what's to chop and change on anywhere near the scale as was needed for basic survival in past seasons?

Anyway, should be a good one tomorrow and always nice to see Super Dan, even if his departure from the club wasn't the most pleasant. He'll always get a decent welcome at Anfield.

I hope to put something else up (or modify this one) before Turkey Day and a much-needed vacation but if not....have a good one and come on you Reds.

The audacity of hope...

I am a cynic by nature - anyone who knows me can vouch for that! Not that I don't want to believe the best of people and situations ... I absolutely do. I know it's just the way I deal with the possibility of the worst happening - like it will make things hurt less.

Well, the cynic - for a few days anyway - has been well and truly humbled.

I don't mean to get political, nor will I attempt to make too many comparisons between 22 very well-paid guys kicking a ball around and millions of people of all physical, social and economic stripes turning out (and in) to participate in the single most important event of my lifetime ... how the hell could you?!

I just know that I worried incessantly that things would not go as I or we (many of us anyway) hoped. And my refuge from the "real world" - our game against Atletico - up until that 94th minute, was feeling like a sorry harbinger for what to expect later that evening.

I admit - I was bricking it.

But lo and behold:

WHAM! ... the ref gives a penalty (ssh back there) - Stevie slots it home!

SOCKO! ... Florida and Ohio go blue! and;

BOFFO! ... Pennsylvania and Virginia do too! Election called - even on Fox News!

REE-EEE-FRIGGIN'-SULTS!!

One was down to near flawless execution from start to finish, the other - well, not so much. But both were undeniably the by-product of hard work, graft and never giving up when the odds seemed insurmountable.

There's still a lot to be done on both fronts...both are still near the beginning of their respective journeys. And while it's easy to point out what did (or could) go wrong, the Reds are still joint top of the league and joint top of their Champions League group.


And a man who most thought didn't stand a chance in hell of getting near the presidency will be in the White House come January.


Holding on to hope? Audacious as hell. But by gosh, it sure does feel good.

You betcha!

The week ahead...

After the week behind...



I admit I am still disappointed by Saturday's result against Tottenham. Some will say it was preordained that Harry's men would take points off the league leaders - us! - but I don't know if I believe all that. We were all over them. The goals were a bit on the jammy side. But it can't help but feel that we threw it away...

But I object to the fact that some people want to paint anyone feeling that way as being a gloom-and-doom merchant. Who doesn't know that we hadn't lost in ages and we played some of the best football so far this season? And of course I don't think "Oh my god, we're doomed I tell ye, doomed!"

We've very much still on the march. But when Spurs stepped up in that last 20 minutes (as they did against Arsenal), I feel we didn't respond in kind - that's what hurt. Particularly as our strength so far has been giving 150% until the final whistle was blown. Of course you have days where things just go against you, but this wasn't that. That was Stoke.

In any event, onwards and upwards. It's now about how we respond and looking ahead. We have Atletico at Anfield to look forward to tomorrow night, when we can claim our place in the round of 16 with two games to spare. Hopefully Fernando will get a run out in front of the followers of his former club that travelled over, and a chance to shine in front of the ones of his current club that adore him. A chance for the boys to make right what they know was a wasted opportunity at White Hart Lane. And here in NY, a chance to say goodbye to an 11th Street stalwart before he makes the move Down Under - we'll miss you, Kev!

Oh, and there's the little matter of electing a new leader for this country as well. As much as I obsess over my beloved Reds, a result on that front tomorrow night will be the one that truly counts - both here and far beyond.

Come to think of it, if a loss to Spurs is the only thing I have to be disappointed by this week, I'll be absolutely thrilled.

Come on you Redmen!
(And come on you black man!)